Marram's letters
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I always knew this thing is better to keep it from people and I was so right.
Galen, do you miss our home? Mother and father miss you terribly, but are certain it is better you've left to search your chance to do what you're gifted to do. I should have gone with you when you left across the world into a country that appreciates people who know the magic of land, herbs, weather and forces, but I was too young and couldn't leave ma and pa alone. I do miss talking to you, especially in those cold days, like those when we used to search the woods for everything we could find to have something to eat and keep warm with. I felt your presence still, telling me where to look, just like you used to, and it was comforting. Now look at me, in the old sorcerer's hut and out of my wits. And I do not fell you any more, he's blocking you and I'm miserable about it.
First, the faire came through the village and settled near the castle, which felt like a bad omen. They had some really strange and dangerous animals with them.
Then, a lion went missing and people were scared. I was in the woods, safe, gathering branches, and of course, the lion came and followed me around, just as the birds and deer always do. I have barely convinced him to stop following and go back to the faire, when I heard the old sorcerer's voice, commanding me to come to his hut.
I tell you, it scared me silly - just ringing in my head and compelling me to obey.
He is scary in person, old and white, but clearly powerful, with a mist of energy around him, snapping and sparkling with fire. He said he saw me in the mind of the lion (the traitor) and recognized the power. He's searching for a new protector of the kingdom, to prepare for after he's gone. I'm afraid to admit, I'd love to be strong and wise and powerful enough to be that someone. But until now I was always a strange girl that animals followed around and that all kinds of weird habits that kept people thinking she might grow up into a witch. I'm hardly powerful enough to protect anything, even though I wish I was as strong as you are.
He had me tested for a week now and all I want is to curl down in some corner and rest. And guess what? You're not the only real magical talent in the family. Your little sister is gifted in influencing natural elements, like wind or rain, can channel the energy and direct it into one direction or object and understand the omens pretty well. Reading runes and signs is boring, but I'm good at it too. And those flashes of future, you kept teasing me about and comparing to your overwhelming knowledge of what is to come, so greater than my little flashes? It has enhanced since I'm here, which is great, but also scary.
I've always wanted to be normal, to take care of my parents and come to you after they're gone and I was ashamed of my quirks. I still care about ma and pa, don't worry. I sneak out to take them wood and food, but the sorcerer always catches me. He says the king is taking care of them, and it seems he does, but I still worry and wish to go and see them. It makes me so angry sometimes to be imprisoned here, not being able to take care of them and feel their embrace.
The other half of me is thrilled about developing my powers (I know 'my powers' sound silly to you, who has started by being a hundred times more powerful than me). I am getting along pretty fast and I love the feeling of the power seeping through me and I feel the conviction I can deal with so much more than I ever thought possible.
I still look like me, though, a strong, healthy and vibrant girl with long hair you remember. But I feel I'm changing, and every time I tap into the pool of real magic, I feel it changes me, making me stronger in one way, but somehow less human and somehow less me. Did you feel like that when you started developing your powers? He says I must loose myself completely and that I will regain myself again when I learn to control and master all the powers. Do you think I will, Galen? Will you help me if I fail? The sorcerer terrifies me and I'm afraid he won't help me regain myself.
I'm setting this letter on fire with the flame of the black candle, you should have it soon. I send you all the love I have, my brother, my other half of me.
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This has been a long year, Galen, and your letters gave me the confidence when I was lacking it. The Master sorcerer is almost at the end of his earthly life, we both know it. The energy around him is so visible, it looks like a fog and he is so fragile-looking. I looked at the future even though he forbade it, and I agree with you - in a year or two I will be the only sorcerer here. When I think of my beginnings, I remember how raw and basic my powers were and I admire the speed in which I developed. I'm grateful to him for taking away my control from me in the beginning, so that I could reach all the potential I had, but also to you, my soul-mate in this world and the other half of my magic self in that eternal world of magic, who has been my only support for ever so long.
Sometimes it worries me how strongly linked we are and if the way to defeat either of us is to destroy the other, we both would fail. This evening I finally found the courage to talk to the Master about it. I'm sure you already know, but I must tell you nevertheless: he has always known about our bond and even though he has blocked the mental connection to give me room to grow, he allowed our candle correspondence. He said he knew I needed your support until I found out that I could rely on my own powers and now that I do not need my brotherly crutch any more.
Now he asks me to close the connection. He asks us both to break that earthly bond that kept us connected our entire lives and that has always been there with us, to rely only on magical powers to reach each other when we need to. He asks us to close that link of magic siblings he calls us, but to remember how to regain it again, because we will always have it even if everything else fails us. He says it is our liability, our vulnerability, the very thing I was worried about, and that closing that last link that made us rely on someone else will be the final thing that will push us into being the most powerful we can ever get.
It hurts me, but I know he is right. It will hurt you too, I can feel it, and it makes me unwilling to close the link, the thought of your hurting. I know it will protect us both, and give that final kick into our overwhelming power abilities, but still... I hesitate. Let's never loose the way to open the link again, Galen, let's always keep it down there, below our minds, where nothing and no one else can reach it, except our ultimate and essential need to get to each other. I will close the gate of my mind and heart, which always opened freely to you, I will suppress it, bury it so deep, and block the entrance because I know it is to protect us both. My core being will never forget how to find it and go through all the blocks in the time of need, despair of hurt. You will do the same, Galen, I see now you were preparing us both for it for some time now. Master has helped us both, I know he has reached you too, I can feel it in his mind, and I'm glad, because you're only better for it. I saw his hope, his plan for us, the magical siblings, one day to join and protect our world and the world of magic. I've seen some glimmers of the distant future, so far away I could only glimpse. I saw us closing the gate of magic world and separating our world from it, protecting the magic from being used to destroy the world. We will be strong enough to do it, and our bond will help us then too.
I miss myself still, and I do not look like me either. You'd recognize me, but not because of how I look. That magical power has altered me, making me more an embodiment of magic than a happy, healthy girl I once was. I miss the girl I was, poor and hungry but happy and optimistic. I've never been so carelessly happy since I was here.
The king and queen respect and like me and say I'm so much more positive than the Master, which is funny because I feel like I'm 1000 years old and the knowledge of the world and universe weights on me. The Prince is now old enough to try to seduce the girls from the village and gets himself into such scrapes that I must laugh. I always know about it all beforehand I see it and the Prince confides in me, but the Master says just to let him do it. He needs to try everything out to become a wise king one day, so we only laugh at his endeavors and keep an eye on him. He makes Master feel more cheerful, he has always loved the Prince like a son and I think he will use all his powers to live as long as he can, just to spend more time watching over that happy-go-lucky youth.
I know I can deal with all that will come my way myself and that I can protect the kingdom. I know you've been doing the same for so long. That means we are both ready to be alone. This is the last letter from me that will come to you through the candlelight of a black candle. After I send it I will start closing the bond. I will miss feeling my brother next to me, though.
Goodbye, Galen, I'll see you in the magic realm sometime. Until then, we'll use the regular messengers and the magic ball.
Marram
Marram before she starts learning from the sorcerer (the contest look)
Marram that wrote the second letter, after becoming a real sorceress
