Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby ClaudiaM25 » 28 Nov 2018, 12:31

Impressive story!!
Thumbs up for the story and for how you put it into words!
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Red Queen » 28 Nov 2018, 12:56

Hey Trinity

First of all, I love Supernatural. I actually love it so much, that I've named my fiance in the game Jensen ;)

Secondly, I was reading your story and it is just WOW!!! The feelings you've put into and they style is amazing. If you ever write a story I would certainly read it. The story is dark, but let's be honest, live is not a walk in the park. The message you are giving is right there, bam!!! in your face and you did great. Congrats on writing a story that mean something.

Thirdly, I'm also part of the LBGT community. So kudos to you for being true to yourself. I know it's easy, so keep your head held high and your eye on the rainbow in the sky.
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 29 Nov 2018, 09:15

Hi Red. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad to hear that you like my story. There's more to come soon! I've been a bit busy, so there may not be any posts here for a week or so, but I'll try to keep the content coming.

Cheers,

Trinity
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 01 Dec 2018, 06:14

IIII'MM BAAAACCKK!!!!111!!! (not really though)

Hello everyone! As you may know, I'm on a bit of a hiatus from posting on my diary because I've been a bit busy. Plus, since it's almost finals week at my school, I'll be even more busy...

This is just a check-in and a note that I'll not be posting too often for the coming weeks. In addition, no new content is planned until AFTER the week of Dec. 17, as that is final exams week @ my school. Also, if you guys have any winter exams, good luck and spread the karma :)

Anyways, wish me luck! I'm sure I'll be posting after my exams & since you all seem to like the story I posted a few weeks ago, I've got a very special surprise coming soon! (by soon I mean after Dec. 21 hehe)

k bye :D

** EDIT ** : soooo my last post here was literally a few days ago which means either my computer is lying to me or I'm really bad at keeping a schedule. Anyways, I'll be back soon byyeeee

*** EDIT #2 ***: As it turns out, uhhh... I'm organizing a contest on the 14th... of December. Oh, boohoo. LUCKILY: finals prep is going well, but I still have to prepare for a speech ( D: ) so... I'll be organizing said contest, but my diary won't be updated 'cuz that takes time. Also, all I have to do is post a topic for my contest and wait lol, so, yeah... Anyways... I'll see you all back here in two weeks. Cheers! :P
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 14 Dec 2018, 04:12

HI EVERYONE! Good news! I got done w/ studying for final exams a bit early and will be back to a regular schedule of posting soon. Here's what you can expect in my diary in the coming weeks:

- posts on literature, books, what to read, etc.
- a special Christmas surprise!
- more about my hobbies and things I like

If you would like to suggest something for me to post on, feel free to do so.

See y'all soon. Cheers!
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 19 Dec 2018, 05:22

Good evening beautiful people!

Reading and sipping a nice hot cocoa by the fireplace can be a nice, relaxing way to end the day. Looking for a book to enjoy? Here are some of my recommendations.

War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
This huge 1,000 page tome of a novel from Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy chronicles Russia's war with Napolean's French army. The book follows six aristocratic families (Tolstoy often wrote from the point of view of aristocrats, as this was the sector of life he was most familiar with) as they discuss the war. 1,000 pages is a lot, but it only means Tolstoy was able to write in great detail, to the extent where readers (myself included) are able to envision themselves in the rich landscape.

Parable of the Sower - Octavia E. Butler
A poignant read that is told through the journal entries of protagonist Lauren Olamina -- a young black woman often subject to the oppression of the government. In just over 300 pages, Butler describes Olamina's created religion Earthseed and her journey to spread it. The book is science fiction but Butler grasps the art of the genre and masterfully writes about the systemic oppression of women and the African American diaspora, both of which are also explored in her other novels.

1984 - George Orwell
A much lighter read that chronicles the struggle of protagonist Winston Smith to defy the authoritarian government of Oceania -- the fictional country in which the book is set. This book, like most of Orwell's others, rails against authoritarian governments.Smith embarks on an affair with the much younger Julia, with whom he strives to tear apart the oppressive government. The climax of the book is gut-wrenchingly human as we as readers feel Smith's pain and are inspired by his fate.

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
Like much of Tolstoy's other works, Anna Karenina is lavishly detailed and quite long, topping about 900 pages. It's well worth it, though. It tells the story of -- surprise -- Anna Karenina, a woman who, though already married, embarks on an affair with the charming Count Vronsky, who she meets at a ball. Anna's husband is at first forgiving, but Anna fails to heed his warning and continues her affair, which ultimately leads to her demise. The book spares no detail of Anna's rich life and is a great read it you have a couple of hours to spare.

All Quiet on the Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque
This short book chronicles the German army's defeat in World War II through the voice of Paul Baümer -- a soldier in the army. Remarque's writing is evidence that war is a scourge upon the earth and was even censored by the German government when it was first published because they thought it would undermine the power of their army. Remarque's writing is poetic and makes for a very worthwhile read.

That's all for now! I hope this selection of books, should you decide to read one or two, prompts you all to explore the world around you and as questions (other than "Why are so many old books so obsessed with adultery and oppression??") :P Enjoy!
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 22 Dec 2018, 08:22

Hello all! As we get closer to Christmas and the rest of the holiday season, it's nice to listen to music and unwind. Personally, I'm not a fan of the old "Christmas classics" 'cause I feel like they get too conflated and too hyped for a particular season -- plus, it can get a bit tiring too hear the same songs every day of December.

One of my favorite genres of music is contemporary instrumental. It helps me to just feel the rhythm of the music without singing or voices making an impact. Here are some of my current favorites, grouped by composer/album:


From the Disney Nature documentary The Crimson Wing (technically a movie soundtrack, but still worthwhile)
- "Arrival of the Birds"
- "Exodus"
- "Transformation"

From Armand Amar:
- "La terre vue du ciel"

From Phillip Glass:
- "Metamorphasis I"
- "Metamorphasis II"
- "Glassworks"

From Max Richter:
- "On the Nature of Daylight"
- "November"
- "Sarajevo"
"The Consolations of Philosophy"


That's all for now. I may update this list in the future. I hope that you'll check some of these songs out, as they are certainly all worth listening to, in my opinion.
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 23 Dec 2018, 23:14

Hi everyone! As the holidays close in on us, I thought it would be the perfect time to share some of my favorite foods, because what's a festive holiday without it?

1) Cheesecake: the creamy richness of sweet cheese and a crumbly crust is so good. It combines two of the greatest things: cheese and dessert! One of the most basic cheesecakes is New York style -- fluffy, sweet cream cheese atop a graham cracker crust... mmm, I'm already hungry.

2) Pasta: a food that comes in many different shapes and sizes, pasta is a quite versatile food and considered a staple in Italy -- and for me!

3) Cheese: with cheesecake before this, what else might one of my favorite foods be?! :D Cheese can be found all over the Earth in sharp and hard forms or more soft, spreadable forms. It has a long history and can be made from just about any milk-producing animal, including cows, goats, buffalo, and sheep.

4) Chocolate: a sweet dessert food that, again, comes in many forms and is widely available. One of the chocolates I've always wanted to try is a Kinder Egg. Technically they're available in the U.S but it's not the same without the little prize inside (which were banned a while ago due to their being a choking hazard).

That's all for now. Enjoy your holidays everyone!
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 25 Dec 2018, 06:02

Hi everyone. As you all know, today is Christmas!! As promised, I've got a surprise: a new short story. Thanks to all of your support on my last one, I've been inspired to write another one. Enjoy!

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

Cured - A Short Story

“Sera? Sera, are you okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, sorry, Rose. Guess I just zoned out for a moment.”
She laughed. “That’s okay. Now, let’s get to class before Mr. Haine marks us late.”

As I sat through Mr. Haine’s boring-yet-ever-so-enthusiastically-presented lecture on Hegel’s Dialectic, I couldn’t help but wonder if she looked at me the same way I look at her. Suddenly, Mr. Haine’s voice asking me -- of all people, when everyone was trying to avoid eye contact -- a question.

“Seraphina! Can you tell the class what the Hegel first theorized about the movement of history, which we now know as his Dialectic?”
“Um… “ I was completely caught off guard. “I- I don’t know.”
He sighed.
“Pay more attention next time.”

The class erupted in laughter. I wanted to dig a hole in the carpeted floor and crawl in and never come out. The class went on, and the bell rang. We all hurried to collect our stuff and go home as Mr. Haine yelled after us to not forget our essay on societal change as reflected in famous literary classics.

Home, at last. I went up to my room and texted Rose.

SERA: hey! how’s your essay on societal change coming along?
ROSE: ugh. so boring. can’t find anything useful. no sources, no nothing!
SERA: ikr
ROSE: wanna hang tomorrow?
SERA: sure, i’ve got an hour in the afternoon.
ROSE: great. meet me @Weston Mall tmrw, 12:30 sharp!

I was about to reply when my mom called me down for dinner.

“Hey honey! How was school? I made spaghetti and meatballs, your favorite!”
“School was fine.”
“So… I’ve noticed that your grades are all slipping. Are you sure it’s all fine? Did something happen? I can get you a tutor.”
“No, no. I’m sorry, I’ll work harder. I promise my grades will be fine.”
“What’s wrong?” Mom asked, with the infinite charity that only mothers could possess. “It’s Anthony, isn’t it? How is he?”
“What?! Mom, no, it’s not him.”
“Then what? Did you two break up or something?”
“Mom! We were never an item.”
“Seraphina, he took you to the roller-skating rink a few weeks ago. Ever since, something’s been off with you.”
“Mom. We were never together. Anthony and I are just friends.”
“Aw, but you guys are so cute together.”

Her voice was drowned in a sea of noise as my thoughts turned back to her.

“Seraphina? Are you listening?”
“What? Right, sorry Mom.”
“We have a meeting with Mr. Haine at your school later. Eat your spaghetti.”

Spaghetti and meatballs. My favorite. But I didn’t have an appetite for food. Heck, I can’t even tell her how I feel. How was I supposed to eat with such a heavy weight on my chest? I managed to keep a few bites of spaghetti down before Mom and I are off to my school.

“I’m so glad you could make it, Ms. Harper.”
“Anytime, Robert.”
“So, I wanted to focus this meeting on your daughter, Seraphina. She used to be one of my star students, but now her grades are falling.”
“Yes, I know. I talked to her about getting a tutor.”
“Seraphina,” Mr. Haine continued, “Is there, perhaps, an explanation you can give as to why your grades are dropping?”
“I don’t know.” I replied, eyes downcast.
“Hmm,” Mr. Haine replied, “Maybe you can think of one later. In the meantime, I’d like you to stay after school so I can tutor you myself, if that’s alright with your mother.” He motioned at my mother.
“Fine with me. As long as it’ll help her.”

My mother and Mr. Haine continued to go on. My thoughts still turned towards her. I have to tell her. I’d already rehearsed how, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

* * *
I walked around Westmont Mall for a bit until finally spotting Rose sitting down at a food court table with a coffee in her hand.

“Sera! I’m so glad you could come!”
“I know. It’s great getting to spend more time together”
“Um…” Rose hesitated, “So, are you and Anthony still, like, a thing?”
“What? No, why does everyone keep saying that? We were never dating to begin with.”
“Oh,” She replied, shuffling her feet and looking the slightest bit relieved. To be honest, I was relieved too.
“Sera,” She began again, “I have something to tell you.”
I smiled and sighed. This is the perfect moment to tell her.
“I- I really like you. As more than a friend. And, with that -- I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long, but -- I’m gay.”
“Really? I’m so surprised to hear you say that,” I reply, trying to hide my excitement and shock, “because… I feel that way too.”
“You,” She paused. “You’re gay too?”
“Not exactly, I’m bisexual.”
“Oh, cool. That means you’re ‘capable’ of being attracted to your own -- as well as the opposite -- sex, right?”

I nodded my head and smiled.
She sighed in relief once again, expressing how much gratitude she had to finally be able to get that secret off her chest. We agreed to support each other with mutual respect. Then, things took a darker turn, as she explained that she felt afraid to be in a relationship with another girl because of her family expressing resentment against the LGBTQ community. Honestly, I couldn’t have related to her less because I felt that my mom -- the only family I had left -- would be fine with it. After chatting with each other a bit more, we left the mall together, but we agreed to take it slow on our relationship until Rose could reconcile her family. Now, maybe I finally had the strength to tell my mom as well.

* * *
Back at home, I rehearsed in my head how I might come out to my mom, who I assumed would have a positive reaction. I -- at last -- gathered the courage to tell her at the dinner table. We sat down and I watched her sip a glass of red wine. Strange, how she didn’t drink wine before.

“Mom, I have something I need to tell you.”
“What is it, honey?”
Now was my chance, and it was now or never.
“I’m bisexual.”
Her mouth gaped open and my stomach dropped. She wasn’t at all happy like I thought she’d be.
“What?! Well, now I know that all I raised was a mangy little f**got! You greedy bastard!” She hurled insults at me while I sat, trying to figure out what went wrong. I needed to tell Rose or our relationship would never fly. She continued screaming at me, even after I turned to go. Maybe she just needed some time to mull over this.
I went up to my room and texted Rose.

SERA: hey. any luck telling your parents?
ROSE: noo. i can’t summon the courage to tell them. i’m so afraid. :(
SERA: would it help if i came over. honestly, I kind of don’t want to be at home now.
ROSE: what do you mean?
SERA: my mom didn’t take it well. it was surprising to see her turn from a loving mother to… well, what she is now.
ROSE: i’m so sorry. i still think we should take it slow, though, so maybe don’t come over yet. but we need a plan in case this doesn’t go well.
SERA: we could talk w/ the school counselor.
ROSE: o.k c u in the a.m
SERA: <3

I went to sleep with troubled thoughts that night. What would happen if Mom decided to do something to me, much less if she discovered Rose and I were dating? I just wanted all of this to be over. In the morning, I walked to school by myself and met up with Rose just before first period English class. I’d been working hard on my essay the night before and submitted it, hoping for the best. Later in the day, Rose and I would meet with the school counselor, Mrs. Lee.

“Thanks you girls so much for coming. I’m glad we could meet up. How are you?”
“Thanks for meeting us, Mrs. Lee. I’m fine.” Rose replied.
“And you, Seraphina? How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Ah, wonderful. So, what is the purpose of this meeting?”
“Um,” Rose hesitated. I jumped in.
“We wanted to ask your advice on what we should do going forward coming out to our families. We’re both apart of the LGBTQ community and really want them to know.” I looked over at Rose, who sat demurely.
“Hmm,” Mrs. Lee thought, “Well, Seraphina, how do you think your mother will react? I know its just her that you need to tell, right?”
“Yup, just her. I actually already came out.” I pursed my lips together. “She didn’t take it well, but I thought things would go along better.”
“And you, Rose?” She asked.
“I don’t think my family will take it well either.”
“Now we’ve got a problem. I advise you both to, for the time being, stay silent about this until you’ve begun seeing someone.”
“We,” I began, “We’re going to begin seeing each other.”
“Are you, now? That’s wonderful.” She smiled, but then remembered. “Good for you two. As for your families, have them come to me, and I can try to talk it out with them. In the meantime, you shouldn’t be afraid to love each other. It is a free country, after all.”

After that, I again felt relieved. I was going to show my mother that my sexuality doesn’t define who I am. The day went on as usual, but I still had an aching fear of meeting my mother back at home. I went home anyway, optimistic that she would always be there for me.

i
was
wrong.

in a flash i don't know what happened or how it happened but i was in another state and mother thought that would cure me of my pain but i just wanted to be alone and out of her sight and yet with someone but i was sitting in a dentist's chair with my legs and arms strapped and a gag in my mouth and they just kept coming again and again it all went so fast i just wanted to go home back to my normal life back to school back to rose but i couldn't i just looked at pictures of girls kissing naked and exposed exposed as i would and i wanted to look away but he kept pulling my head back and opening my eyes but i didn't want my eyes to open and i didn't want to see the light that shined so brightly the light he said would cure me and i refused and the shocks kept coming onto me like snakes piercing through my skin and the kept coming and coming and coming and they wouldn't stop and cried and begged but i couldn't as the bile spewed out of my mouth but he patted my head said i was doing fine and said i would be cured of the sickness but i didn't want to be cured and i didn't want to see the light but finally i thought it would all be over but it never was it never went away.

That week, I couldn't eat or sleep or even go to school. The principal called mother and all she was that I was sick. Was I though? Did I really have to be cured? No, no, I kept telling myself. I must stay strong. Again, I was wrong. Mother kicked me out onto the streets and I felt more alone than ever. I went to a payphone and called Rose, telling her of what happened. She urged me to tell the authorities but as I went I found out that she drank herself to death. Too much wine. Too much shame at raising a broken child. And I was all to blame.

I see the light at last and I am cured.

Learn more about conversion therapy here:
http://www.nclrights.org/bornperfect-th ... n-therapy/
https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies- ... ve-therapy
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Re: Trinity Starling -- Diary of Randomness

Postby Trinity Starling » 25 Dec 2018, 06:04

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Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! Wishing you a day full of joy and time with friends and family.
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