☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 11 Nov 2017, 00:45

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Hello, cupcakes!

It's me, your GRANDMA!
No, it's not really, it's just me your friendly Admin you have never seen before in your life and you're probably wondering who the hell I am. Not telling ya.

Anyway...

Welcome to my Diary!

I won't post anything smart or meaningful here, so don't be afraid to look around. Or do be afraid - entirely up to you.

My motto and the main vibe of this diary is "You can never have too much food, unicorns and Nicholas Cage"

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^ Yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about.

So without further ado.. dive in!

P.S. Message me if you want some spicy pictures of the Team. I've got "Claudia attempts side parking and fails miserably" and "Red Queen plows snow with a leaf blower"
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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 11 Nov 2017, 00:50

As my great-great-great-great grandma used to say: "Marry someone who likes you because of your status updates, not because of your profile picture"

So this is the face behind the moustache and the glasses and the posts in this diary...

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The shine in my eyes is caused by me wondering who discovered we can get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time.
In case you were wondering.
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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 14 Nov 2017, 14:45

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Several hundred years before
A gambler and a monk embarked
On a long trek through the endless prairies of the North
They had a fierce debate
About God and chance and fate
and to resolve it agreed a game of cards indeed be played

The game went on all day
And through the next and next they played
And around them a shelter was built to shield the rain
A street around the shelter formed
Then a church, a house, a bar
And that is how the city of New Albion was born


New Albion today
With bustling streets, machines, cafes
And the nice, the wise, the eccentric and insane
The Mafia’s run by
A red haired dwarf with just one eye
Whose affairs he decides with a pair of silver dice


Over the Zeppelin Union Pilots
A castrati boss presides
And we hear his song each afternoon as he flies by
There’s prisons made of lead
And gargoyles of iron shreds
And Annabelle McAlistair who’s raising up the dead


The Lodge on Ashland Street
Is where the Alchemists Guild meets
And to join you have to craft a glass pearl from a young girl’s dream
A group of thieves they heard
Broke in the lodge to steal the pearls
But In the morning they were found there sitting staring unperturbed


The twilight fog they say
An aphrodisiac contains
Nonsense, but yet they copulate in doorways anyway
There’s inventors and inbred
In upper class it’s been said
And Annabelle McAlistair who’s raising up the dead.
Clever little Annabella with her clever head.


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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby fabystyles » 14 Nov 2017, 19:35

Awesome start to your dairy! Oh and I'm loving the sexy bananas you're dropping around here , they are making a slip and fall worth it :lol:

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 17 Nov 2017, 20:08

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Oh Emily

When Pretty Emily awoke one day
She saw the world a different way
Her eyes now looked with a stranger's guile
Her dainty mouth smiled a stranger's smile
Her hands now worked the stranger's wrath
Her feet now walked a stranger's path
Emily fed, another grew stronger
The stranger's cravings drove her onward,
And no one who looked on Emily's face
Ever guessed who ruled in Emily's place.

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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Red Queen » 22 Nov 2017, 09:29

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 22 Nov 2017, 10:16

Little Anna

Little Anna was a happy child
Always sweet and never wild

"Sleep my little girl,
You are mommy's pearl.
Sleep my dearest child,
You are daddy's pride."

One morning little Anna
Was nowhere to be found.
Only her ragged teddy
Was laying on the ground.

No one thought she could be lost
With two parents loving her the most.
Her mother cried and prayed and swore,
And she wasn't herself anymore.

She searched, she asked
She never gave up on the task
Of finding little Anna safe
Even in her death she wouldn't be a waif.

Little Anna was forever lost
People say "Taken by a ghost"
But if they only took a closer look
In the garden they would find a bloody hook.

For her little body lays there in the ground
Without a sign, a trace, a sound..

"Sleep my dearest child"
Her daddy darkly smiled.

By Tiny Tina
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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!

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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Queen Priyal » 24 Nov 2017, 13:58

Tiny Tina wrote:Little Anna

Little Anna was a happy child
Always sweet and never wild

"Sleep my little girl,
You are mommy's pearl.
Sleep my dearest child,
You are daddy's pride."

One morning little Anna
Was nowhere to be found.
Only her ragged teddy
Was laying on the ground.

No one thought she could be lost
With two parents loving her the most.
Her mother cried and prayed and swore,
And she wasn't herself anymore.

She searched, she asked
She never gave up on the task
Of finding little Anna safe
Even in her death she wouldn't be a waif.

Little Anna was forever lost
People say "Taken by a ghost"
But if they only took a closer look
In the garden they would find a bloody hook.

For her little body lays there in the ground
Without a sign, a trace, a sound..

"Sleep my dearest child"
Her daddy darkly smiled.

By Tiny Tina

This has such a deep meaning.Very heart touching.
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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Tiny Tina » 24 Nov 2017, 14:52

Thank you, Queen! I'm glad that someone likes it - my boyfriend called it dark and disgusting :sad:
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Look him in the eye, nod politely and
kill the living hell out of him!
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Re: ☠Tiny Tina's German Dungeon of Fat Unicorns☠

Postby Queen Priyal » 25 Nov 2017, 13:02

It's not at all dark and disgusting.It shows the truth of today's world :cry:
You should publish your poems somewhere.They are interesting and inspiring. :)
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