My crappy peom

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My crappy peom

Postby mizztetianna » 15 Dec 2017, 20:44

Your eyes gemmy

Your heart beat faster than the speed of light

You've never felt this way before

And you never will again

The touch, the feeling, the emotions

You only get this chance once in a lifetime

To be in love.

(I'm trying guys.....tell me what you think?)
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Re: My crappy peom

Postby Queen Priyal » 06 Jan 2018, 13:13

Great beginning,Keep it up.:)
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Re: My crappy peom

Postby Winter Violet » 09 Feb 2018, 03:30

* Poem
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Re: My crappy peom

Postby Naya_Adley » 09 Feb 2018, 06:47

I like how you didn’t start with the obvious, or what you were describing. Your poem gradually gets closer to stating that all those ideas are love. This is good since it keeps the reader wondering why all those feelings and emotions are being described, but only at the end you reveal “To be in love”
-Naya
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